So after more than a year in the house of problems we have managed the following:

• Leaking wall fixed (thanks to the fantastic work of Kevin and the team at SBP. Couldn’t recommend them highly enough).
• One room decorated. Daughter’s room has gone from this:
• To this:
• To this:
• Garden on its way. Today I finished making a trellis for a climbing rose out of scrap wood in the garage. And about 40 attempts to mount the thing on the wall. I finally succeeded using No More Nails (Outdoor version). Like the rest of the house, it looks scrappy but it’s holding! In the past year I have planted umpteen shrubs, herbs and perennials and although the garden is still overrun with weeds (buttercups are tenacious little bastards), I love it. Never thought I’d ever enjoy gardening.

Next room to be tackled is the sitting room. Plan is to sand the walls down, lining paper and white emulsion and sanded floors. Simple but pretty.

‘Cept you’re also just a gorilla in a mask as it turned out.